September 3, 1995

I have been thinking about Garth lately.  Friends of ours, Rob and Nancy, occasionally have the kids and me over when Garth isn’t able to join us.  At these times, I enjoy myself, but I feel a little sorry for Rob and Nancy.  I am not as interesting or funny a dinner guest as when Garth is there with me.  I’m not saying I’m never funny or interesting when Garth’s not around. I’ve been known to hold my own in a lively conversation when flying solo. But something about him spurs me to reach inside and find my good qualities in a way I don’t always manage on my own.

Isn’t this why most of us want to be married, to find, through our association with this person, a self that is more ourselves?

Lest you accuse me of shining the apple, I’d like to add that in my years with Garth I have also been spurred to reach inside and find my darkest, slimiest, most hideous and unattractive qualities, too. But that, too, is a kind of opportunity.

17 years ago today, Garth and I walked through April Hill Park toward a large tent that sheltered a hundred or so of our friends and family, and got married.  We will celebrate today by making a special breakfast for our parents as a thank you.  “Thank you” not just for raising us, but also for the countless ways they make it possible for our marriage to survive and flourish.  In our wedding ceremony, the minister mentioned the role that community plays in a marriage, and in a way, having our parents over this morning is a way to acknowledge our entire community by acknowledging them.

Which means, to everyone reading, there is a place at the table this morning for you, too.

  1. Polly Pitsker said:

    Congrats for finding a loving and fun partner. Thanks for the place at your table this morning, though I have had very little influence in helping you make it for 17 years.  However I am proud of my girl! Love, Polly


  2. Tina Lilly said:

    I love how you hit the nail of marriage on the head. I hadn’t been able to put into words why I am married to Mark, but you certainly figured that one out too. : ) Congratulations to you and Garth! Love, Tina

  3. chris said:

    This is really sweet.
    I feel so lucky both for my self and for dad to have you in our lives Katrina.

    • Oh, thank you, Chris. I feel so lucky to have you in my life, too.

      Love, Katrina

      Live Your Life Out Loud Katrina I. Gould, MSW, LCSW Psychotherapist for Individuals, Couples and Groups 503-239-3915 x 3

      Live your questions now, and perhaps even without knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers. Rainer Maria Rilke

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